Maiden & Married Names PART 3

At first, I had decided that I had been able to move beyond Tradition’s grip, but Josh had not. While his protective intentions were both flattering and loving, I believed they were primitive. However, if I am being completely honest with myself, I can admit that I do not mind not only slipping into but embracing those traditional gender roles. In fact, Josh’s and my plans for our family follow those roles. We plan to have five children. Josh will work and I will be a stay-at-home mother. We have spoken about this future at length. It shouldn’t have surprised me when Josh’s feelings on our marriage followed that traditional trend. After becoming more honest with myself, I began to wonder why I did not want to change my name. What was in my name? After nights of falling asleep to this question, I realized that I was afraid of changing or losing a part of me – the part that would only exist before I became a wife. I think that I had linked my maiden name to my childhood. It was a last attempt by my subconscious to save this part of myself. Saving that part of me is impossible, though. I grew to understand that I could not save my childhood forever. I was moving forward as I had chosen to do when I accepted Josh’s proposal. Not all was lost, though.