Maiden & Married Names PART 2

By assuming that Josh and I felt the same about our last names, I had underestimated Josh’s feelings on the situation in addition to my own. Not only had I underestimated our feelings, I had simplified them, and it took a great deal of thinking to break free of that. I wanted to understand why Josh had been so convinced that my taking his last name was the way to go that even my tears and mostly logical arguments had not swayed him. In order to understand this, I went over it in my head. Traditionally, a woman changed her last name to her husband’s. Traditionally, a woman took care of the house and children. Where was the husband in all of this? More than likely, the husband was working for and protecting the family. With that sentiment, everything kind of clicked into place. Perhaps I was taking Josh’s traditional, bread-winning role away from him. Perhaps I was emasculating him by suggesting he change his name to mine. Instead of being selfish, as I had originally thought, it seemed as though he was trying to maintain the traditional, husbandly role. He was trying to protect and take care of me, his soon-to-be wife, through his name. Though he may not have explicitly known this, I now believe that this is true. Armed with this knowledge, I still needed to figure out my own feelings about this.